Ron Paul: Best of Comments as Interpreted by a Hippo

You may recall my post about why I think Ron Paul is a bad choice for secular voters and the horrific responses I got.  So did this hippo.  I could set it up more than that, but why?  Everyone should watch this.  It’s amazing.

Atheist Karaoke and Ashley Learns the Ukulele

On Wednesday night, I’m hosting a “Godless Karaoke” event in Columbia, SC.  What does being godless have to do with karaoke?  Absolutely nothing.  Except that I know a lot of super awesome people in the skeptic and atheist movements that really love music and karaoke.  I think there’s some sort of connection there, I’m going to figure it out.  Anyway, we definitely need to start some sort of atheist band.

About a month and a half ago, I obtained for Christmas a ukulele with the thought that it would be easier and nerdier to learn than the guitar, something I had failed at a couple of years ago.  I was listening to an old CD I found in my car, which has this wonderful song by the Nerf Herders, “Mr. Spock”, which I adore and I thought to myself, “If I could play this on the ukulele, that is about the most dorky thing in the universe, I love it.”

I have now recorded five songs on the ukulele on YouTube and here they are in reverse chronological order, starting of course with “Mr. Spock”.  If you’re looking for nostalgic, may I recommend the Kermit the Frog number at the bottom.  If you need additional nerdiness, we’ve got Tom Lehrer’s elements set to a possibly recognizable tune.  And if you need more Gaga or Stevie in your lives, there’s a little bit of that as well.

Ron Paul: People seriously vote for this guy

This screencap alone speaks volumes.

Guest Post: Izzy Woods on de la Barre

I received an e-mail about a month ago from a freelance writer who wanted to contribute a guest post to my blog.  I told her I was happy to post anything that was on topic and she sent me the following article.  I hope you find it interesting, and if you’d like to have something posted here, I am open to it, just contact me.

Jean-François de la Barre – Martyr

In the early 18th Century, the ruling establishment consisted of the monarchy and the church, and they were intolerant of anyone who challenged the status quo. One early victim of the oppression of secularism and free speech was a young boy who died a most appalling death, and who is still celebrated in Paris as a symbol of man’s right to speak freely. His story is a salutary one, but not widely known outside Europe.

The year is 1765. It is August, and in the dead of night someone pulls down and vandalizes a wooden crucifix, which stood on a bridge at Abbeville. The Bishop of Amiens flew into a rage when it was discovered the next morning and demanded the vandal be brought to justice. The town was silent. People either had no idea who had done it or were shielding them. The Bishop threatened to excommunicate anyone withholding information, but still no one came forward. Finally, a local magistrate called Du Maisniel de Belleval used the awkward silence to accuse a young nobleman, a student against whom he had a grudge.

The boy was just nineteen years old and, although history does not record the exact reason for the magistrate’s grudge, we can imagine that he was perhaps just a normal teenager, full of high spirits, and somewhat mischievous. Jean-François de la Barre was arrested and charged with a range of offenses against the church. Jean-François de la Barre was charged with failing to doff his hat as a procession of monks walked past; of tearing down the cross on the bridge; of singing ‘lewd’ songs, and finally of owning seditious literature. These charges are hard for us to think of as criminal offenses, but in the 18th Century they were grossly offensive to the Church, who set about making an example of their black sheep.  Which of these charges, if any, were true is contested. Someone had to pay.

Voltaire took up the boy’s case, since the book he had been found in possession of which so outraged the Bishop was one of Voltaire’s own, the Philosophical Dictionary, first published in 1764. It contained alphabetically arranged articles, some of which disparaged the Catholic Church and other powerful institutions. Not content with simply managing their own business and turning a blind eye to a mere book, the state and church were enraged by the publication of such literature and ownership of it was a personal risk.

The Encyclopédie
The Church were feeling particularly bruised at the time, since the Encyclopédie, (1751-1772), one of the earliest encyclopedias, was in the process of being written, by Enlightenment thinkers such as Diderot, Rousseau, and Voltaire himself. Diderot’s stated aim was “change the way people think”, and the Encyclopédie championed rational thought over superstition. The book is credited as being one of the drivers behind the French Revolution, which was to follow, in which the religious powerbase was totally destroyed. In the an article in the Encyclopédie, Dumarsais writes:

Reason is to the philosopher what grace is to the Christian… Other men walk in darkness; the philosopher, who has the same passions, acts only after reflection; he walks through the night, but it is preceded by a torch. The philosopher forms his principles on an infinity of particular observations. He does not confuse truth with plausibility; he takes for truth what is true, for forgery what is false, for doubtful what is doubtful, and probable what is probable. The philosophical spirit is thus a spirit of observation and accuracy.

The topic of theology was ordered under ‘Philosophy’ since the writers argued that it was subject to human reason and not a source of knowledge. This was a scandalous assertion at the time. It was this uneasy relationship between reason and faith that formed the backdrop to the fate of Jean-François de la Barre.

Martyred
It was the fury felt among Catholic leaders about attacks on their power base that may account for the hideous treatment of poor young Jean-François. Owning Voltaire’s Philosophical Dictionary sealed his fate. On July 1, 1766, he was brutally tortured. His hands were chopped off and his tongue torn out. Finally, he was decapitated and his body burned on a pyre in the square at Abbeville, along with the offending literature.

Jean-François de la Barre’s case was championed by Voltaire, who wrote two accounts of it – Relation de la Mort du Chevalier de la Barre (1766) and Le Cri du Sang Innocent (1775), in which he attacked the complicity of the Catholic Church in what was in fact a prosecution raised by the State. A number of offences against religion, such as sacrilege and blasphemy, survived from the edicts of the old regime.

Memorial
The National Convention eventually pardoned De la Barre in 1794. Today a statue of the boy stands in a quiet park at the top of the hill of Montmartre. Its unveiling was heralded by a celebration by rationalists and free thinkers, who held a ceremony in his honor. He was a victim of that age’s savage religious intolerance and remains a symbol for those committed to free speech today. Chevalier de la Barre Day, every July 1st, is a day that can be celebrated by anyone who opposes religious oppression.

Ron Paul: The Song; In which we discover my wish to be Weird Al

“Ron Paul: He’s a Libertarian” Parody song to the tune of New Age Girl.

Apologies in advance for how badly recorded it is…  On the plus side, I think I must have a death wish to continue kicking this hornets nest.

2011 Book List and Stats

Number	Title	Author	G
1	How to Train Your Dragon	Cressida Cowell	A
2	How to Be a Pirate	Cressida Cowell	B-
3	How to Speak Dragonese	Cressida Cowell	B
4	How to Cheat a Dragon’s Curse	Cressida Cowell	A
5	How to Twist a Dragon’s Tale	Cressida Cowell	B
6	Pride and Prejudice	Jane Austen	A
7	Emma	Jane Austen	A+
8	Sense and Sensibility	Jane Austen	B-
9	Biblical Nonsense: A Review of the Bible for Doubting Christians	Jason Long	A-
10	I Love You, Phillip Morris	Steve McVicker	A
11	God Hates You, Hate Him Back	CJ Werleman	C
12	The Vile Village	Lemony Snicket	A
13	The Hostile Hospital	Lemony Snicket	B+
14	The Carnivorous Carnival	Lemony Snicket	A
15	The Slippery Slope	Lemony Snicket	A
16	The Grim Grotto	Lemony Snicket	B
17	The Penultimate Peril	Lemony Snicket	B
18	The End	Lemony Snicket	B
19	Moab is My Washpot	Stephen Fry	A
20	The Hunger Games	Suzanne Collins	A
21	Catching Fire	Suzanne Collins	A-
22	Mockingjay	Suzanne Collins	B
23	Guns, Germs, and Steel	Jared Diamond	A
24	The Blind Side	Michael Lewis	A-
25	Catch Me If You Can	Frank Abignale, Jr.	B
26	The Lost Gospel of Judas	Bart Ehrman	B
27	Forged	Bart Ehrman	A
28	Monarchy	Christopher Hitchens	B-
29	Griftopia	Matt Taibbi	A+
30	The King’s Speech	Mark Logue and Peter Conradi	A
31	Bossy Pants	Tina Fey	B
32	Doubt	Jennifer Michael Hecht	A-
33	The Next Ancient World	Jennifer Michael Hecht	A
34	Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality	Jack Rogers	B-
35	Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin	Frank Bailey	B+
36	The Tudors	GJ Meyer	B-
37	The Princess of the Midnight Ball	Jessica Day George	B+
38	The Family	Jeff Sharlet	B
39	The Invisible Gorilla	Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons	A
40	Goblin Quest	Jim C Hines	A-
41	Dragon Slippers	Jessica Day George	A
42	Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency	Douglas Adams	A
43	Goblin Hero	Jim C Hines	B
44	Dragon Flight	Jessica Day George	B
45	The Pluto Files	Neal deGrasse Tyson	A-
46	Goblin Tales	Jim C Hines	B+
47	The Men Who Stare at Goats	Jon Ronson	B
48	Princess of Glass	Jessica Day George	B+
49	Jane Eyre	Charlotte Bronte	A-
50	Goblin War	Jim C Hines	B
51	The Rise and Fall of the Bible	Timothy K Beal	C+
52	The Stepsister Scheme	Jim C Hines	B+
53	Breaking Their Will	Janet Heimlich	A
54	Them, Adventures with Extremists	Jon Ronson	A
55	Rabbit-Proof Fence	Doris Pilkington	A
56	Dragon Spear	Jessica Day George	B
57	The Selfish Gene	Richard Dawkins	A
58	The Ancestors Tale	Richard Dawkins	A
59	Towards a Rhetoric of Insult	Thomas Conley	A
60	Artemis Fowl	Eoin Colfer	A+
61	Internet, Mail, and Mixed-Mode Surveys	Don A Dillman	A
62	Artemis Fowl 2: The Arctic Incident	Eoin Colfer	A-
63	The God Delusion	Richard Dawkins	A-
64	Artemis Fowl 3: The Eternity Code	Eoin Colfer	B
65	Artemis Fowl 4: The Opal Deception	Eoin Colfer	B+
66	Artemis Fowl 5: The Lost Colony	Eoin Colfer	A
67	The Rogue	Joe McGinniss	A+
68	Artemis Fowl 6: The Time Paradox	Eoin Colfer	B-
69	The Humanist Approach to Happiness	Jen Hancock	D
70	God, No!	Penn Jillette	A-
71	Percy Jackson 1: The Lightning Thief	Rick Riordan	A
72	Percy Jackson 2: Sea of Monsters	Rick Riordan	B
73	Percy Jackson 3: Titan’s Curse	Rick Riordan	A
74	Percy Jackson 4: Battle of the Labyrinth	Rick Riordan	A-
75	Percy Jackson 5: The Last Olympian	Rick Riordan	B
76	Heroes of Olympus 1: The Lost Hero	Rick Riordan	A-
77	I Shall Wear Midnight	Terry Pratchett	A+
78	Snuff	Terry Pratchett	A
79	Bromeliad 1: Truckers	Terry Pratchett	B+
80	Bromeliad 2: Diggers	Terry Pratchett	B+
81	Bromeliad 3: Wings	Terry Pratchett	B+
82	Reality TV: Remaking Television Culture	Susan Murray and Lauren Ouellete	A-
83	Heroes of Olympus 2: Son of Neptune	Rick Riordan	B+
84	Carpet People	Terry Pratchett	B
85	The Blind Watchmaker	Richard Dawkins	A-
86	Bad Science	Ben Goldacre	A
87	Matilda	Roald Dahl	A+
88	The Witches	Roald Dahl	A
89	The Twits	Roald Dahl	B+
90	Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Roald Dahl	A-
91	Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator	Roald Dahl	B
92	The Fantastic Mr. Fox	Roald Dahl	B
93	Freak Show	James St. James	A+
94	Aunts Are Not Gentlemen	PG Wodehouse	A
95	Flatland	Edwin A Abbott	B
96	Charlotte’s Web	EB White	A
97	Fleetwood Mac: The Definitive History	Mike Evans	A
98	Happy Accidents	Jane Lynch	B+
99	Jeeves in the Offing	PG Wodehouse	A
100	Thank You, Jeeves	PG Wodehouse	A

Stats:
Fiction: 62
-YA/Kids: 38
-Classics: 5

Non-Fiction: 38
-Religion: 12

GPA: 3.5

Worst Book:
Jen Hancock’s The Humanist Approach to Happiness D

A+ Books:
Emma – Jane Austen
Griftopia – Matt Taibbi
Artemis Fowl – Eoin Colfer
The Rogue – Joe McGinniss
I Shall Wear Midnight – Terry Pratchett
Matilda – Roald Dahl
Freak Show – James St. James

2011

Hits: 137,640

Biggest Month: December with 50,568

Biggest Day: January 8 with 20,225

Top 5 Posts:
1. Sarah Palin’s Target List and the Assassination of Gabrielle Giffords – 35,052
2. Why does anyone like Ron Paul? – 33,900
3. Why “In God We Trust” is a Problem – 6,956
4. My Vagina is Destroying America or Love from Ron Paulians – 5,150
5. Columbia Coalition of Reason Hate Mail: Part I – 2,648

Books Read: 100 (posts coming!)

Top 11 Referrers
Facebook 24,960
Reddit 11,985
freethoughtblogs.com 9,758
fark.com 2,625
godlesspaladin.com 2,243
associatedcontent.com 1,350
Twitter 1,261
lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com 1,079
voxday.blogspot.com 1,048
patheos.com 795
npr.org 449

I am most excited about Associated Content and NPR… there was also a Slovenian site I got a lot of referrals from, which is cool.

Some Selected Search Terms
gay hippo 27
big nose women 15
beauty dicks 8
ashley miller porn 8
13 year old tits 5
fat girl with red hair 5
ashley adams tron ass 4
how does the character of ronnie experience prejudice even he is white?why is he discriminted against 2
fat but pretty girls 2
girls are retarded 2
very fat girls with red hair 2

Where I sent people
addictinginfo.org/2011/09/07/10-quotes-that-make-ron-paul-sound-racist 2,444
ashleyfmiller.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/sarahpac_0.jpg 2,114
gravatar.com/0d262906b009644fcd4e3e268c6bf5cd 501
ashleyfmiller.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/p7w.png 484
newsone.com/nation/casey-gane-mccalla/why-ron-pauls-racist-newsletters-matter 480
youtube.com/watch?v=nHoaZaLbqB4 375
ashleyfmiller.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/sp.png 362
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_assassinated_American_politicians 342
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect 258
ronpaul2012.com/the-issues/statement-of-faith 231
wrongpaul.tumblr.com/post/14067691055/why-i-hate-ron-paul-supporters-they-lie-deny-and 195
ashleyfmiller.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/ch090204.gif 178
prisonplanet.com/articles/january2008/011308_not_racist.htm 146

Imagine: Not an Atheist Song

How could you ever be angry at that?

Cee Lo Green changed a line in Imagine from “no religion too” to “all religions true” and the atheists and BeatlesFreaks are pissed. The sacred line about “no religion” was changed in a song about everybody getting along to be about everyone getting along in a slightly different way, and so people naturally are not going to get along about it…

What Cee Lo did is way more respectful and less cowardly than the way most people just cut the line entirely.  And the way Cee Lo changed the line is actually completely in sync with Lennon’s intentions.  He wasn’t trying to say there shouldn’t be anything religious, he was saying that all religions should get along.  Lennon, on the lyrics, “If you can imagine a world at peace, with no denominations of religion—not without religion, but without this ‘my God is bigger than your God’ thing—then it can be true.“

Compare MLK’s dedication to the worldview expressed in “Imagine.” The song doesn’t advocate any action, it doesn’t detail any specific problems or solutions it just sort of drifts along and says, “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if things were great?” Not every song needs to be a treatise on geopolitics but shouldn’t a “meaningful” song actually mean something?

We’re talking about a guy who was unbelievably wealthy who brought the nonsense of eastern mysticism to millions of people singing about no religion and no possessions. I call bullshit.

I agree that the sentiment of the line is stupid, but the fact of the matter is that it is exactly what Lennon was trying to say, because Lennon was a namby pamby, non-committal, everyone is equally good sort of person, apparently just like Cee Lo Green.

Boobaversary: In Defense of Plastic Surgery

Two years ago today I got a boob job. I feel like blunt is the best way to start this conversation.

Plastic surgery is usually the butt of jokes, it’s what celebrities do to themselves that makes them look like aliens. Sure, there are burn victims and cancer victims who get cosmetic surgery, but that’s just to make them look “normal”. If you’re a “normal” person who gets plastic surgery, it’s probably because you’ve got too much money, are incredibly vain, or have no self-control when it comes to weight. If a woman gets plastic surgery, she is stupid and skanky. If a man does, he’s kind of gay.

If you’re a feminist, you are betraying your sex by succumbing to the cultural pressure of normative standards of beauty.

I am admittedly biased, but I think plastic surgery is great, why shouldn’t we be able to do whatever we want to with our bodies? Tattoos, piercings, hair dye, nose jobs, whatever… why isn’t this a great thing? My reduction is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I introduced my procedure as a “boob job” for a reason, because it was a more aesthetic and emotional choice than a medical one. Even though reductions seem to be more culturally acceptable than augmentations, the difference is simply the direction I moved on the size scale.

I was a 32H and it was making me miserable. They were uncomfortable, there were no clothes that fit me, I always felt like people were staring at them, and the bras I had to wear were incredibly painful. I would get sores on my shoulders from where the straps dug in.

I hated my breasts. Loathed them. In fits of pique I would daydream about getting breast cancer so that I would have a reason to get rid of them entirely. Let’s just say I didn’t have a healthy working relationship with them.

I was already a D cup in 6th grade. By the time I was in high school, there were no local stores that actually stocked bras in my size.  Open stares were not uncommon.  And then there were the comments, shouts, and open groping from strangers.  I was a freak.

It took me nearly a decade from when reduction surgery was suggested to me and actually going under the knife.  It turns out surgery is really scary and you find that people are going to think less of you if you have plastic surgery.

I can usually weasel out of it because I had a reduction and not some other procedure.  I still feel obligated to emphasize just how much I had to get removed, to try to justify it.  I feel the need to tell you all that there was almost no fat in what they removed, so having more control over my weight wouldn’t have made a difference in my breast size.  I feel obligated to assure you that it was absolutely necessary, that I had macromastia, but in reality, I would have been fine without it.  Just not as happy, not as confident.

And while getting smaller breasts wouldn’t generally strike people as trying to fulfill the normative beauty standards, I immediately looked as though I’d lost 20 pounds. I think I look way more conventionally attractive now, which means that I’ve engaged in a hateful act that some people think is morally equivalent to female circumcision.

“Slicing up the body to conform to a societal ideal is inherently a woman-hating act, whether the offending body part is the clitoris or thigh fat.”

On the other hand, I no longer look like I’m smuggling party balloons under my shirt.  I can run.  I can buy bras that cost less than $150, or I can even just not wear one!  I can wear normal clothing and I am not immediately perceived as slutty for having enormous tits.

I recognize that there are a lot of cultural specifics to what we consider beautiful, but  I wasn’t trying to please anyone except for myself.  I’m still a freak, but now it’s for reasons that have nothing to do with my appearance.

Columbia women, afraid their husbands will be recognized, ban in-town sex shop

The first sex shop in the city of Columbia, SC may be shut down after members of the City Council voted to effectively ban sex shops from the city.

Unhappy wives had been appealing to the council for weeks after the “adult superstore” got its business license on December 4, citing their fear that having an adult store so close to their homes rather than on the outskirts of the city would lead their husbands to frequent such establishments more often and risk their friends at the Country Club seeing their cars.

Shelby, a conservative Christian and devoted mother of four, asks how she is supposed to explain it to her children.

Despite the fact that my children have never once pointed to a store and asked me what it was, what am I supposed to tell them when they do?  Do they really need to know that mommy met daddy when she was paying her way through college as a stripper?  Do I really want them to talk about it when playing tennis at the Club?

The beautiful building next door

The store, located in one of the busiest and ugliest corridors within city limits, is further off the road than anything nearby, but this is not enough for many of the anti-sex women in the town.  Ann, a retiree who lives nearby, is worried about her grandchildren.

I realize that there are nothing but shoddy buildings and fast food restaurants on the street, but there are some good American businesses, like check-cashing places designed to take advantage of the poor.  We don’t want a business supporting healthy sex lives, that’s not what Columbia is about.  Now, a gun store would be just the thing for that location.

Not everyone is against the store, however, and a few voices have come out in support, including Ashley, a local student.

Retroactively changing the law to punish a specific business makes these prudes much bigger a**holes than the ones undoubtedly on full display inside the store.  Think of the children?  What exactly do these people think they had to do to make their children?

A member of City Council, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “If they’d only given us free vibrators like we’d asked, it never would have come up for a vote.”