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Eddie Kritzer: Leave me Alone

I have, for the past TWO MONTHS been dealing with this asshole Eddie Kritzer.  I sent a pitch in response to a Craigslist posting, which turned out to be to this guy who called me and said that he wanted $600 to read my script.  As in, he liked my pitch and therefore wanted me to sign an exclusive contract with him as my manager before he even read the script.

1. Real managers and agents read scripts before they sign contacts

2. Real managers and agents don’t charge you to represent you

He says it’s just an advance.  But the thing is, the only thing he’s ever sold or published appears to be through vanity press outlets; there are no movie deals on even his own factually dubious page.  All of his credits are really old and not terribly impressive.  He apparently has some connection to Bill Cosby, which I guess was impressive some time before I learned to talk.

He was also involved in a major, major scam called Edit Ink. It basically scammed writers out of money and gave commissions to “agents” that referred writers to get scammed — “agents” like Eddie Kritzer.

He keeps sending me e-mails and calling me, he will not leave me alone, even though I have REPEATEDLY told him I was not interested and told him REPEATEDLY that everyone I know in the industry told me HE IS A SCAM.  And on top of that he is a jerk on the phone and can’t be bothered to introduce himself, remember your previous conversations, and he mispronounced the word “bible”. Really.

So, just to be perfectly clear here, what it appears he does is troll Craigslist and then harass and bully people into giving him money.  That’s certainly what he has been doing to me.

I hesitated from posting anything because I’ve seen him threaten other bloggers who are honest about his behavior and I didn’t want to get into it, but other people need to know exactly what this man is doing to me. And if he comes here to defend himself I will simply add that to the list of things he is doing to harass me.

EDDIE KRITZER: LEAVE ME ALONE

Here is his contract:

Literary Management Agreement
1. By this agreement, Ashley F. Miller(Author) appoints Eddie Kritzer (E.K.) as her literary representative. E.K. agrees to use good faith efforts to place Author’s , manuscript/script, currently entitled BIBLECON ” (Work)and subsequent (hereafter “Work”),with a Publisher , Studio, Production Company, , , Television Network for a film/book. etc acceptable to the Author and to exploit and turn to account such other subsidiary and television and film rights in and to the Works as may be appropriate under the circumstances. We may use and/or employ subagents and corresponding agents for such purposes. E.K. shall make no agreement on the behalf of the Author without the Author’s written approval.
2. In return for services rendered E.K. in connection with the Work, Author agrees to pay and irrevocably authorizes E.K. to receive in its name, all monies due to or to become due to Author and to retain as its commission fifteen percent (15%) of all gross monies payable to Author . An advance on commission of Six Hundred Dollars ($600.00) shall be paid on the execution of this agreement.
3. In addition to the aforementioned commissions, E.K. shall be reimbursed for the expenses incurred on behalf of the Work (not to exceed a total of $100 without written permission), including photocopying, messengers, cables and overseas postage in connection with submissions for sales, both foreign and domestic, long distance telephone calls, copies of the published book when purchased by the E.K. for subsidiary rights submissions, and other similar and related charges. E.K. shall invoice author quarterly for such expenses or deduct same from funds received by E.K. for Author’s account.
4. E.K. shall provide a quarterly itemized account of all expenses to the Author and no expenses shall be due and owing until that itemized account is produced.
5. All funds received by E.K on behalf the Author shall be held in Trust by E.K. and E.K. shall exercise a fiduciary duty with regard to those funds and on behalf of the Author.
6. The Author shall have the right to an annual audit of the financial books and records of E.K. with regard to the Author’s account and E.K. shall produce all records relevant to the Audit. E.K. shall give the accountant conducting the audit access to all financial books and records relevant to the Account. The Audit shall take place at the principal place of business of E.K. unless the parties agree to a different location.
7. Any written notice called for by this Agreement must be sent by registered U.S Mail, return receipt requested, or by FedEx, DHL or UPS overnight courier to the addresses set forth in this Agreement.
8. This Agreement represents the complete understanding between the Author and E.K. and supersedes any prior oral understandings and may not be amended except in a writing signed by the Author and E.K.
9. This Agreement shall be construed under the laws of the State of California.
10. This Agreement is effective on the date of the final signature.

And an official opinion on it:

“Putting on my former lawyer hat (practiced corporate entertainment law for many years, law degree from Harvard, former VP of Legal Affairs for an entertainment co, former director of legal services @ NY’s Volunteer Lawyer for the Arts – just providing creds to let you know that I have a lot of experience in this sort of thing), NEVER pay some dude to read your script as an advance on his future manager commissions. This is a scam – you’ll never hear from him again. Real management agencies won’t ask you to pay them – where’s the incentive for him to do anything? And there’s no term, no ability for you to get out of it — I have too many comments on this management agreement to post in a small space. But needless to say, it’s something you shouldn’t sign.”

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Craigslist Results

Job Posted at 11:45 AM Friday.  I’ll bold the number to the ones I would actually consider.  There are 5 of the 21 that I think would be potentially worth responding to, and only 2 of them that I’d feel good about contacting.  So… comparatively, I think my resumes and cover letters are at the very least in the pool of worth looking at.  I certainly don’t have the impressive credits that some of these people do… you know, actually editing real TV shows and movies, but hopefully the fact that I actually read the posts and respond to what they say will make the difference.

FRIDAY

1) 12:04 PM  Fun Resume and Reel
Reel simply a link to Youtube page, featured item a musical composition, not a reel of any sort.  Resume focuses on sound and artist work, not editing.  Only one editing credit.

2) 12:30 PM Fun Reel
No resume.  Several links to reels, too many links, no explanation of what they are.  Claims to be able to make my footage look “professional”.  Not sure what that means and am vaguely insulted he thinks it looks otherwise without having seen it.

3) 12:36 Fun Resume and Reel
Resume is ugly, has only a few credits, none impressive.  Admits focus is directing, and only claims some experience with Final Cut.  Does have a link to reel, which is for all of his various film skills.  “I am introducing myself and would like to see if there is a job opportunity as a video editor?” His first sentence lost me.

4) 1:04 Fun Resume and Reel
Resume is impressive.  Includes a reference to his more impressive work in his letter, and includes that he owns Final Cut, something I mentioned in the ad.  This is the first person I’d have responded to.

5) 1:32 Fun Resume and Reel
Reel is once again simply a youtube page with no direction as to what I should be looking at.  None of it appears to be a reel.  Cover letter clearly a form letter with no reference as to what the job was.  Resume vague and unimpressive.

6) 1:37 Fun Resume and Reel
Most of his credits are in sound, but very impressive online resume.  Maybe too good, I’d feel guilty for hiring him for just $100.

7) 1:44
Terrible cover letter.  No paragraphs, inconsistent capitalization.  Clearly didn’t read my post, doesn’t include Fun in his subject line and is asking to be added to my production company.  Includes the unforgivable line “I know for a fact that i am the right candidate for this job”

8) 2:37 Resume and Reel
No cover letter, just a bunch of links.  His resume is all director/ credits, which is not encouraging.  Clearly didn’t read the ad and sent the response double.

9) 2:39 Fun Resume and Reel
Link for reel and resume is to an unnavigable page in hideous colors.  Another director/  Includes a rate which has nothing to do with the rate that I posted, doesn’t even reference it.  I didn’t ask for a quote, I gave a quote and asked for someone to do it.

10) 2:55 Fun and Reel
No resume, and states that he focuses on weddings.  This automatically makes me think he’s no good.  But he follows that up with being Apple Certified in FCP, which is actually quite impressive.  He should just start with that.  Still reads like he didn’t read my posting but I’d probably think of contacting him.

11) 3:00 Fun Reel and Resume
Links to webpage with Reel and Resume.  Resume difficult to navigate.  Watched some of the projects and they are very bad.  The cover letter is clearly in response to my ad, but the grammar is questionable.  Would have thought about using if the cutting hadn’t been so bad on his reel.

12) 3:28 Fun Resume and Reel
This is by far my favorite applicant.  I would have contacted him definitely, just because he says he focuses on shorts and opened with a “howdy”.   He also has an impressive and long resume and his reel is not bad.  Of course, he only has FCP 5, and I am at 6, and the current version is 7, so that’s a little meh.

13) 3:40 Fun Reel and Resume
Terrible cover letter for someone who is way overqualified for the project.  He clearly didn’t read it because he wants me to bring it by for a quote.  I told you how much I had to spend, no need for a quote.  This guy is union and has worked on TV shows.  Hopefully he trolls CL for better offers than my short.

14) 5:51 Fun Reel and Resume
Hurts himself by sending stock cover letter that he clearly uses for graphic design jobs as well as editing.  Has a picture right at the top of his resume.  This weirds me out.

15) 6:20 Fun Reel and Resume
What is with people sending me their picture?  Bad.  Resume includes the word savvy.  “Numerous Free-lance clients as Lead Editor (list available)”  Well, I’m asking you to be freelance edit so… that’d be nice.  Why not include it in the first place.  Argh.  At this point I’d be tempted to just give up on any new applicants.

16) 6:39 Fun and Reel
No Resume.  Cover letter says simple “I’m an editor located near Beverly Hills.”  Well, that’s just not enough information.

17) 10:54 Fun Reel and Resume
Marginal cover letter with reel and resume behind a link that doesn’t work.  I did get to his webpage by googling but found that there’s not a single title to something he’s cut, just “7 years of editing experience”.

18) 11:26 Reel
No attached resume, no fun.  He’s apparently an “indie editor” whatever that means.  He’s also seems to think I’m making a music film.  Website is hideously awful.

SATURDAY

19) 10:17 AM Fun Reel and Resume
I feel bad because he’s got some great credits, but his resume doesn’t start with editing, it starts with AD and producing work.  So, I don’t feel like his focus is editing and not sure I want him to work on it.  Still, if I’d talked to the other applicants and none was working out, I’d certainly get in touch with him.

20) 3:25 PM Fun and Resume
No reel.  Majored in Theatre is apparently the most important thing I should take into account, since that’s what he starts with.  Almost makes me want to not read the rest of it.  Resume is mostly acting and Director/ credits.

SUNDAY

21) 2:25 PM Reel
Mass email to 20 other craigslist email accounts.  Doubly emailed to me.  His day rate is $250.  He didn’t send a resume.  I’m sort of insulted to have received it, as a matter of fact, and want to send an e-mail back saying “If it’s not worth your time to actually read what people have bothered to post, please don’t respond.”

Editing Gigs on Craigslist: An Experiment

So, I apply for a lot of jobs on Craigslist that I’m sure other people are applying for too. I’m curious about how other editors format their resumes and what sort of reels they’re giving out. I mean, I just have no idea what my competition is like or how many people apply for any given job that’s posted.

And then I was talking to F about his resume and how he didn’t know how ADs really formatted them and he was thinking of posting a Craigslist ad just to see what other people’s resumes looked like. This struck me as totally genius.

Here is the mediocre job I posted on FCP, apparent as not real primarily because of the correct spelling.

I need an editor with their own FCP setup to finish a short project; everything’s been digitized and assembled, just need an editor to make a good pass and solid cut. Drive will be provided.

$100 for the work. Please submit online reel and resume. Include the word “Fun” in your subject so that I know you’ve read the ad.

I shall let you know how it goes.  I’ll be keeping track of the following

1. how many e-mails I get

2. how many e-mails have resumes

3. how many e-mails have reels

4. how many e-mails have the word “fun” in their subject