Further Harrassment from Eddie Kritzer

Hi Ashley,

I’m another Ashley Miller and I just got this harassing email from a guy named Eddie Kritzer, who seems to think my email address is yours.  I did a search and came up with your blog, which was where I found your correct email address.  Anyway, I thought I should forward this to you…
Good luck with your screenwriting–and it’s always nice to meet another Ashley Miller–

I read your post, and it’s totally inaccurate, I am a producer with five number ones to my credit, all documented in ImdPro.com.
I never sent you an agreement to be your manager; IM not an manager; or an agent; but a consultant.
My last movie was The Nuremberg Secrets, from The book The Nuremberg Interviews; Knopf Press.
Your an amateur; and a joke, and I wanted to see if you were serious; a real writer would never sink to using the word “Asshole”
I have many submissions from amateurs like yourself; you say your an editor; and writer; what have you ever written; the answer is nothing ?
You work for a “reality TV” company, then where are you contacts; perhaps, your just not that competent a writer; and you dont have a compelling story.
My partners have been Bill Cosby, Art Linkletter, Christina Aguiera, Ed McMahn, Aaron Spelling, Budd Friedman, what have you ever done; have you ever had a show on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, USA, MTV, A & E. PLAYBOY, well I have, and IM informing my lawyer of your post, and if it’s not immediately taken down, your statement will be actionable in a court of law.
If I dont have written confirmation, my lawyer will take action. That means you will have to hire an attorney to defend yourself.. (that costs money)
Anyone can say anything on The Internet, even a person with no talent; no connections; who is searching the Internet, begging for someone to read her writing, (Like you)
By the way, all you had to say was you were not interested, but you submitted a lame story, that I tired to help you with.
I guess no good dead goes unpunished………you have no credibility; no credits; your totally unproven.
“Me doth think you protest to much “?

You sent your e-mail to the wrong person.  She was kind enough to forward it along to me.

Please tell me which parts of the post exactly are incorrect, so that I can retract them formally on the blog.

Thank you,

About ashleyfmiller

I write, give occasional speeches, and am currently getting my PhD in Mass Communications from South Carolina. Before going back to school, I worked in Los Angeles in reality tv, web series, and film.

Posted on November 20, 2009, in screenwriting, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I like how a “professional” such as Mr. Kritzner here, took the time to do a once over to check his spelling and grammar. Just an FYI Mr. Kratzner, “your” and “you’re” are TOTALLY different words.

    In case he isn’t aware, calling someone an asshole in a blog posts does not constitute “libel” or “slander.” This guy tries anything and the EFF will be all over his ass. They LOVE to take on cases that involve overzealous lawsuits thrown at bloggers to stifle any dissident views or opinions.

    He also uses semi-colons too much.

  2. A few thoughts regarding the dubious Mr. Kritzer:

    He claims to be neither an agent nor a manager, yet his contract describes him as “literary representative”. His contract suggests he is in the business of selling his clients’ work to producers and such – a practice that by law is restricted to licensed agents. For an unlicensed individual to negotiate contracts on behalf of a client is illegal. The website for the Association of Talent Agents (agentassociation.com) has a great deal of information on this issue, as well as coverage of legal disputes regarding unlicensed managers being sued for procuring work for clients. It should go without saying that a “consultant” has no business selling or negotiating to sell anything.

    Real writers use much more colorful language than asshole. See Mamet.

    Regardless, calling someone an asshole is not actionable in any court, save the court of public opinion. See Penn & Teller – Bullshit!. Slander and libel are very specific criminal issues. As is fraud. Cough.

    Mr. Kritzer has done you a service by threatening to sue you as a means of forcing you to incur the cost of hiring a lawyer. Such statements would no doubt be useful in any countersuit to cover legal costs.

    It cannot be said too often – never, ever pay someone up front to represent your work. If they believe in you, and in their ability to represent you, they will get their share in due course. All others are shams and should be pilloried in the town square.

  3. Who is Christina Aguiera? Is she like the “Hennifer Lopez” hand puppet in that South Park episode?

    • My favorite is “no good dead goes unpunished” hahahaha. I also love that me not wanting him to be my manager consultant means, somehow, that I have no credits and am really untalented. Boy failed Logic and Grammar. And, you know, link clicking.

  4. Wow. I mean, wow. I wouldn’t trust anyone to me my literary agent/manager/consultant if they can’t even figure out the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re.’ Or find my e-mail address. Wow, special.

    • Especially since my e-mail address is right here on this page. A little shocking, no doubt. But you know, all the better for me, since it’s clear the guy is awful.

  5. Kritzer is a fucking joke.

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